Feeling hot, hotter ... too late I've melted

A week into the new year it was time to leave the lap of luxury and get used to living in hovels, sorry, hostels, again, so Monday morning we picked up our car and headed north - destination Cairns - eventually.

We've only just begun...

The original plan had been to do the journey in a campervan but finding one that was air-conditioned, available and within our budget seemed impossible so we hired a car again. This time Gareth tried a new company which he told me had a 'super duper deal' that meant a double upgrade for free. I have my suspicions that this upgrade might actually have been paid for from our travel cocktails fund, since Gareth ended up with a Toyota Camry, which made him very happy, and I have ended up with no daiquiris or margaritas, which has left me very thirsty.

Not that we needed any alcohol since as predicted in the last blog entry, we both started the journey with white wine induced monster hangovers. Our first stop was Caloundra, on the Sunshine Coast, only an hour north of Brisbane - less to do with planning and more to do with needing some greasy food. Caloundra was hot, sticky and busy so we avoided the heat and the crowds for most of the day by staying in coffee shops, internet cafes and the post office. Being a bit out of practice it was nearing 5pm when we realised we still didn't have anywhere to stay. Luckily the visitor centre helped us out and found us a motel in Maleny, in the mountains just outside Caloundra. I was bitten to bits by mossies after stepping out of our room for five minutes but it was a small price to pay for a roof over our heads.

Tuesday morning we had a couple of things to do before we carried on north. First we searched out the village of Reesville, definitely labelled on the Sunshine Coast map but not so easy to find in reality.

It's definitely around here somewhere!

We saw a few signs for it and drove past some Welsh-sounding homes - plus it was raining and hilly - so it looked like Wales - we think that must have been it.

Next stop was the Big Pineapple - there are lots of 'Big' things around Australia but this was the first thing we'd seen. It was just a big hollow pineapple that you could climb up inside and have your photo taken outside of, but I liked it!

Would make a lot of ham and pineapple toasties

Our next major stop was Noosa. We had visited Noosa before, almost exactly three years to the day, and my recollection was of an eight hour round trip to get there, broken in the middle for an hour, during which time I had an expensive coffee and Gareth discovered there was no surf. Luckily this time Noosa was only a thirty minute drive from the Big Pineapple but there was still no surf for Gareth. Some things never change ...

We spent the afternoon having a wander around, jumping into air-conditioned shops (it was hotter than Caloundra) then we walked to Tea Tree Bay - spotting our first couple of wild koalas on the way - and watched the spot where the surf was supposed to be. It never did turn up for us.

After a night in the Royal Mail Hotel - a room above a pub in a place that Gareth described as Hotel California - next day it was back on the road - this time for Hervey Bay on the Fraser Coast. We were desperate for a bit of long-term air-con so we went to the cinema to see Happy Feet. Well that's how I sold it to Gareth and it worked. The film could probably have been renamed Smelly Feet as every now and again there was a waft of something cheesy - (in defence of Gareth's feet I must admit that this was similar to the smell in the cinema in Coolangatta when we saw Casino Royale - so I think it must be an Oz cinema thing - although of course Gareth and his feet were present on both occasions so I can't be sure).

The Friendly Hostel in Hervey Bay was the cheapest we'd stayed in so far in Oz and was pretty decent. There were only four rooms in the unit so it was nice and quiet and the owner was helpful - making only one request - that we didn't leave our rucksacks on the bed as this transferred bed bugs from hostel to hostel. Bed bugs? This was something I hadn't even considered until now! How was I supposed to fit worrying about bed bugs in around worrying about snakes, sharks, jellyfish, crocs, rampaging kangaroos, evil mosquitoes and smelly feet?

It was a (rare) early start for us on Thursday - we were booked onto a one day trip across the Great Sandy Straits to Fraser Island. This is the world's largest sand island, apparently containing more sand than the Sahara desert and famous for its beautiful (croc-less) freshwater lakes, rainforest and white sandy beaches. It took nearly an hour to reach Moon Bay by ferry and along the way our Captain kept telling us to look over the edge for 'marine creatures'. I think most people were looking for rays and turtles but I was mindful of what I had read in the guidebook - don't swim off the beaches of Fraser Island - they are full of man-eating sharks. I would be happier when we reached Fraser Island. In fact, I would really be happier when we had been to Fraser Island and come back safe again.

Moments later the man-eating sharks took her...

Our guide for the day was Richard - or Richo as he liked to be called. Originally from Hertfordshire, he did a great job of driving our four wheel drive off-road bus through the deep sandy tracks around the island and definitely knew his stuff, but as Gareth said, he could have talked a glass eye to sleep. Our tour included visits to Lake Garawongera(completely clear but the colour of tea from the tannin in the nearby trees), Eli Creek (pouring up to four million litres of clear, fresh water into the sea every hour) , the Lidney rainforest and the wreck of the Maheno.

Aye, aye cap'n

Best of all though was driving 18km down seventy five mile beach, with the tide lapping at the wheels of the bus. Sadly we saw no dingoes on the island - since there are no domestic dogs allowed on Fraser Island the dingoes are said to be some of the purest in Oz. They also have a reputation for being aggressive as a result of having got used to human interaction - and in particular - being fed by humans who come to visit. Maybe it's better we didn't see them...

After another night at the Friendly Hostel with no bed bug attacks thanks to Mrs Friendly's rucksack policy, it was north again to Bundaberg.

Bundaberg seems to be famous for one thing - its rum. I got a bit confused here between the Bundaberg bear - he's white and says 'Follow your nose' and the Hofmeister bear, who if I recall correctly, used to wear a bomber jacket and said 'Follow the bear' or something like that.

Gareth hits the bottle again

Anyway, we took a quick tour of the distillery, which was nothing special and pretty hard work in the searing heat - but the bonus was the free tasters you got at the end. Seeing as he was driving, Gareth stuck to the soft stuff but I tried out Bundaberg Royal Liqueur - a delicious mix of coffee, chocolate, caramel, sugar and rum - our tour guide described it as the five major food groups! It was very nice but unfortunately you can only buy it at the distillery and there is no room in my rucksack for anything, not even alcohol, at the moment.

It was a long drive on to Rockhampton that afternoon - and of course I dodged it all because of my drinking.

Are we there yet?

At 7pm we rolled up at our accommodation for the night. To pass the time and save our precious dollars, Gareth and I play this game called 'Drive the price of the room down'. This worked particularly well in Sri Lanka and helped us get used to a rapid downwards spiral in accommodation quality. We'd forgotten the game once we got to Oz since there didn't seem to be much variation in price BUT the East Coast was different with lots to play for. In the spirit of that game Gareth had booked us in, for TWO nights, at the Ascot Stonegrill Backpackers. Walking into our room, I realised that in this game, you get all you deserve. It looked more like a prison cell, with a bed covered by a thick, nasty looking and well-stained rug and an electric fan, covered by an even thicker of dust. It got even worse at bedtime. By now, the temperature was still safely in the 30s so the room was roasting - and when I lay down on the bed I discovered it was a foam mattress with no spring in it whatsoever - plus on one side of us there was the lounge where the TV was blaring and on the other side was the main road, with racer boys zooming up and down the road all night long. Eventually I think I must have passed out...

Next day it was time for an education session. You'll remember that as soon as we arrived in Australia we visited the Aquarium of Western Australia to get to grips with all the things we needed to avoid in the sea. Now that we were getting into North Queensland we were in crocodile country and we needed a bit of background info - so we headed to Koorana Crocodile Farm for a tour. The tour started with our guide handing out a piece of crocodile leather and a massive croc skin with all the knobbly armour plating down the back - telling everyone to have a good feel. Well I decided not to just in case I ever find myself face-to-face with a crocodile - at least I'll know I'm not being punished for holding the remains of one of his beloved relatives. After the introduction we got out into the farm and started meeting the crocs - and they were pretty scary.

Would make a lovely pair of shoes and matching handbag

What I understand now is that crocodiles can be very grumpy. We heard lots of stories about how some of the male crocs had been moved to different enclosures after beating up or sometimes eating up their girlfriends and we met Shah, a croc who drowned his keeper in Townsville Zoo back in the fifties because he didn't like the noise of the lawnmower. We were also told to look out for the three signs of crocodile territory - the nest, the wallow (a puddle of water) and the slide - where the croc moves into the water. After a quick cuddle with Harley, a young croc whose jaws where safely taped up, we left the farm, suitably terrified of going anywhere near water for the rest of our time in Australia. Job done then.

Really, it was bigger in real life!

We drove the 45 kms back to Rockhampton, hoping to have a wander around what is supposed to be one of the major cities of Queensland - but at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon everything was closed, so we turned the car around and headed to Yeppoon, a small seaside town where we managed to find some signs of life and a fish and chips supper. After delaying as long as possible we had no choice to go back to the Ascot Stonegrill Backpackers and our hot little cell. We set the alarm for an early getaway ready for the journey onto Mackay next day ...